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Single post: Chuck Norris jokes!
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Senior Member
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21. Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris� leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
22. Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can�t get up the courage to tell him.
23. Chuck Norris was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.
24. If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it�s ****ing beef.
25. Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.
26. Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
27. Giraffes were created when Chuck Norris uppercutted a horse.
28. Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas.
29. Chuck Norris can have both feet on the ground and kick ass at the same time.
30. Chuck Norris doesn�t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
31. Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris
32. Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
33. Chuck Norris secretly sleeps with every woman in the world once a month. They bleed for a week as a result.
34. When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he�s telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
35. Chuck Norris� dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take **** from anyone.
36. Chuck Norris can squeeze orange juice out of a lemon
37. Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
38. Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn�t stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
39. Death once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience.
40. Chuck Norris doesn�t have hair on his testicles, because hair does not grow on steel.