"A GDI secret ultra protected and trusted source informed us this morning through uber secret channels that PS4 will feature controllers! But not just any controllers: this ones has the option to create buttholes that can fart the fabric of space-time.

The existence of the fart-pad has been previously reported by Center and trillions of other gaming "news" sites, but claims a “Fart” button exists on the rear of the controller from the same report were debunked by our source today. Apparently it isn’t there. Why are you still reading this?

Rumours regarding the unicorn machine are now coming thick and fast and spread like ticks on crack cocaine. It was reported that it will come bundled with a mystic portal, and Asari tech and a $400.000.099 price-point have recently been suggested by Olympus smoking a fat joint on Mars.

Sony is expected to announce PlayStation 4 at a ISS event next Wednesday."