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Thread: Chuck Norris jokes!

  1. #1 SP
    Senior Member Khan's Avatar

    Chuck Norris jokes!

    OK, I'll start:

    Chuck Norris's email adress: [email protected]

    Ideea e sa postam jokes care mai de care mai inventive, nu sa facem copy/paste de pe

  2. #2 SP
    Senior Member Uziwood's Avatar
    Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack, his heart isn't fool enough to attack him.

  3. #3 SP
    Junior Member DeeDee's Avatar
    Chuck Norris s-a nascut intr-o cabana construita de el.

  4. #4 SP
    Admin MonkY's Avatar
    Chuck Norris nu face flotări - el �mpinge păm�ntul.

    Mulţi oameni au pijamale cu Superman. Superman are pijamale cu Chuck Norris.

    Pe Chuck Norris nu-l interesează c�t e ceasul - el decide timpul.

    Chuck Norris a numărat p�nă la infinit. De două ori.

    Elodia a fost ultima persoană care a dat ochii cu Chuck Norris.

  5. #5 SP
    Member sepet's Avatar
    Chuck Norris nu a fost niciodata off-topic

  6. #6 SP
    Senior Member Khan's Avatar
    am ras vreo 5 minute ieri:

    When Chuck Norris enters the water he doesn't get wet, the water gets Chuck Norris.

  7. #7 SP
    Junior Member DeeDee's Avatar
    When the Boogie-Man goes to sleep he checks his closet for Chuck Norris

  8. #8 SP
    Junior Member lollollol's Avatar
    Nu exista lesbiene. Doar femei care nu l-au cunoscut inca pe Chuck Norris.

  9. #9 SP
    Member sepet's Avatar exista si astazi,pentru ca Chuck Norris nu a avut niciodata o consola in copilarie.Mainile lui sunt prea puternice pentru orice gamepad existent.

  10. #10 SP
    Member N3O2005's Avatar
    Xbox360-ul lui Chuck Norris nu da niciodata RROD. Ii e prea frica.

  11. #11 SP
    Admin MonkY's Avatar
    Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."

    Chuck Norris' first job was as a paperboy. There were no survivors.

    Chuck Norris died 10 years ago, but Death is too afraid to come and take him.

    Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Chuck Norris' PC will crash.

    N-am rezistat sa dau copy/paste la cateva

  12. #12 SP
    Senior Member ShpioOn's Avatar
    geniale astea ultimile Monky!! Thanks!! Bring 'em on! Sunt la servici era sa cad pe sub birou de ras

  13. #13 SP
    Member I-Ray's Avatar
    chuck norris nu poarta prezervativ. nimic nu te poate proteja de chuck norris
    lacrimile lui chuck norris vindeca cancerul. pacat ca nu a plans niciodata.
    daca tu ai 5 lei, si chuck norris are 5 lei, chuck are mai multi bani ca tine
    chuck norris poate sa omoare 2 pietre cu o pasare
    pe tastatura lui chuck norris nu exista butonu CTRL, el detine controlul tot timpul.
    chuck norris poate sa stranute cu ochii deschisi
    chuck norris poate sa manance doar un chips Lay's
    apple il platesc pe chuck norris 99 de centi de fiecare data cand asculta o melodie

  14. #14 SP
    Admin MonkY's Avatar
    Iar n-am rezistat si am dat un copy/paste la ce mi-a placut mai mult. Habar n-aveam ca sunt mii de glume cu Chuck Norris

    Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs. When observing a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick in slow motion, one finds that Chuck Norris actually pokes his victim in the ass, smokes a cigarette with Dennis Leary, and then roundhouse kicks them in the face.

    When Chuck Norris had surgery, the anesthesia was applied to the doctors.

    Chuck Norris is Luke Skywalker’s real father.

    Aliens do exist. They're just waiting for Chuck Norris to die before they attack.

    Chuck Norris doesn't have normal white blood cells like you and I. His have a small black ring around them. This signifies that they are black belts in every form of martial arts and they roundhouse kick the **** out of viruses.

    Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1CNRhK (Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick)

    Chuck Norris doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.

    There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.

    In an act of great philanthropy, Chuck made a generous donation to the American Cancer Society. He donated 6,000 dead bodies for scientific research.

    If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.

    The Bible was originally titled "Chuck Norris and Friends"

    Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.

    Chuck Norris just says "no" to drugs. If he said "yes", it would collapse Colombia's infrastructure.

    Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

    When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris.

    Chuck Norris doesnt sleep. He waits.

    Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.

    Chuck Norris never retreats, he just attacks in the opposite direction.

    Chuck Norris can play the violin with a piano

    Death once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience.

    The following is a short list of things Chuck Norris cannot do: .

  15. #15 SP
    Senior Member Khan's Avatar
    Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.
    Scrie pe google "find Chuck Norris" si apasa "I'm feeling lucky". E un truc destul de vechi, dar vezi tu ce obtii in caz ca nu stiai

    Tari astea. Mai ales aia cu biblia

  16. #16 SP
    Admin MonkY's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by Khan View Post
    Scrie pe google \"find Chuck Norris\" si apasa \"I'm feeling lucky\". E un truc destul de vechi, dar vezi tu ce obtii in caz ca nu stiai
    Bestiala faza. N-o stiam. That's why i love Google. Are haz, makes it more human... nu ca la msn & co unde ai feelingul ala "unde bag cardul ?".

  17. #17 SP
    Senior Member Khan's Avatar
    Si ar mai fi si asta de vazut. Glume cu Chuck Norris spuse de el insusi. Pana sa vad clipul asta eu credeam ca Chuck Norris nu stie sau nu vrea sa auda de glumele cu el.

  18. #18 SP
    Admin MonkY's Avatar
    Una on-topic: "Hardest Achievement on Xbox360: Win ANY GAME against Chuck Norris"

  19. #19 SP
    Member Catallin's Avatar
    Cand intra in apa, Chuck Norris nu se uda, apa se Chuck Norris.

  20. #20 SP
    Manager paul's Avatar
    E plin internetu de bancuri. Putin copy-paste.

    If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the f*** down

    Chuck Norris always has sex on the first date. Always.

    Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.

    There is no such thing as tornados. Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks.

    Chuck Norris does not procreate, he breeds

    When asked what type of vehicle he drives, Chuck Norris responded slyly with "Don't you mean what kind of vehicle drives me?"

    Chuck Norris doesn't worry about changing his clock twice a year for daylight savings time. The sun rises and sets when Chuck tells it to.

    Chuck Norris only masturbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.

    If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, what beats all 3 at the same time? Answer: Chuck Norris.

    Although it is not common knowledge, there are actually three sides to the Force: the light side, the dark side, and Chuck Norris.

    Chuck Norris drinks napalm to quell his heartburn.

    If you want a list of Chuck Norris� enemies, just check the extinct species list.

    Ironically, Chuck Norris� hidden talent is invisibility.

    Chuck Norris invented water.

    Chuck Norris does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will simply change the actual spelling of it.

    Chuck Norris doesn�t eat. Rather he kicks ass until he�s full.

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