Daca aparea Chuck Norris in filmul 2012 nu murea nici un om.
Chuck Norris picteaza mai bine cu piciorul cand este beat, decat picta Michelangelo.
Si masonii au un lider: Chuck Norris.
Eu am primit cadouri de craciun pentru ca asa a dornit Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris e nascut pe 1 Ianuarie. Noi toti credem ca sarbatorim Revelionul, dar de fapt cinstim nasterea lui Chuck Norris.
Chock Norris daca era doctor vindeca si sida
Hrusca s-a nascut pe insula din Lost
● Exista un singur accelerator de particule mai puternic decat LHC: Chuck Norris.
● Vidul este felul de mancare preferat al lui Chuck Norris.
● Bosonul lui Higgs va fi numit de-acum inainte “particula lui Chuck Norris”.
● Doar Chuck Norris poate fugi mai repede decat un proton in interiorul LHC.
● Chuck Norris e atat de sexy, incat atrage neutronii fara ajutorul gravitatiei.
● Gaurile negre nu vor inghiti Pamantul pentru ca vor fi inghitite mai intai de Chuck Norris.
● Chuck Norris foloseste fasciculele de protoni din LHC, accelerate aproape de viteza luminii, pentru a-si curata dintii.
● Cu 13,8 miliarde de ani in urma Chuck Norris a spus “Sa fie Big-Bang”.
● LHC nu aduce Apocalipsa. Doar Chuck Norris poate face asta.
● Fotonii circula cu viteza luminii doar de frica lui Chuck Norris.
● Fotonii prefera mai degraba sa intalneasca bosonul Higgs decat sa se confrunte cu Chuck Norris.
● Chuck Norris foloseste gaurile negre pentru a gati spaghete.
● Nu exista particule stabile. Particulele exista atata vreme cat Chuck Norris se uita la ele.
● Energia folosita pentru a pune in functiune LHC e egala cu cea degajata de o clipire a lui Chuck Norris.
● Particulele din interiorul protonilor se ascund pentru ca nu vor sa ia bataie de la Chuck Norris.
● Chuck Norris poate scrie numele sau cu unghia pe un proton care circula cu viteza luminii in LHC.
● Chuck Norris isi tine berea la rece in interiorul LHC.
● Stephen Hawking a fost odata tanar si sanatos. Pana cand a adormit in timpul unui film cu Chuck Norris, care a auzit si i-a facut o vizita.
● Chuck Norris bea bere si urineaza fascicule de protoni.
● Odata Chuck Norris si-a pierdut cheile intr-o gaura neagra. A intins mana si le-a recuperat imediat.
● Chuck Norris face flotari sprijinidu-se intr-o mana pe o stea neutronica.
● Big Bang e doar un eveniment care are loc ciclic in viata lui Chuck Norris.
● Ceasurile atomice se sincronizeaza dupa loviturile lui Chuck Norris.
/ Older
● Cand Monstrii se duc la culcare se uita sub pat sa nu fie acolo Chuck Norris.
● Chuck Norris nu citeste carti. Se holbeaza la ele pana obtine informatia dorita.
● Nu exista teoria evolutiei. Doar o lista a creaturilor pe care Chuck Norris le-a lasat sa traiasca..
● Spatiul cosmic exista deoarece ii este frica sa stea pe aceeasi planeta cu Chuck Norris.
● Chuck Norris nu doarme, Chuck Norris asteapta.
● Chuck Norris da in judecata NBC, pentru ca “Law and Order” sunt nume inregistrate pentru picioarele lui.
● Chuck Norris a numarat pana la infinit… De doua ori..
● Nu exista o barbie in spatele parului de pe fata lui Chuck Norris. Exista doar inca un pumn.
● Cand Chuck Norris face o flotare, nu se ridica pe el, impinge Pamantul in jos.
● Chuck Norris este atat de rapid incat poate sa fuga inconjurul pamantului sis a se pocneasca in ceafa.
● Mana lui Chuck Norris este singura mana care poate bate o Chinta Roiala.
● Chuck Norris nu poarta ceas. El este cel care decide cat e ceasul..
● Chuck Norris poate sa tranteasca o usa rotitoare.
● Chuck Norris a omorat doua pietre cu o singura pasare!.
Si pentru ca tot e evenimentul zilei, una tare:
There's no volcano in Iceland. Chuck Norris is having a barbecue !
lol
20 din 100 , mi s-au părut prea multe să le pun pe toate, ocupau destule pagini lol
1. Chuck Norris counted to infinity – twice.
2. Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever the **** he wants.
3. The only person that can beat Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.
4. Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.
5. Chuck Norris doesn’t cheat death. He wins fair and square.
6. Some kids piss their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can piss his name into concrete.
7. Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
8. Chuck Norris’ calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris.
9. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
10. Once, while having sex in a tractor-trailer, part of Chuck Norris’ sperm escaped and got into the engine. We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.
11. Chuck Norris can speak braille.
12. Chuck Norris puts the “laughter” in “manslaughter”.
13. Chuck Norris once won a game of Connect Four in 3 moves.
14. Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.
15. Chuck Norris owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno.
16. On a high school math test, Chuck Norris put down “Violence” as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Chuck Norris solves all his problems with Violence.
17. Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
18. When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
19. If you spell Chuck Norris wrong on Google it doesn’t say, “Did you mean Chuck Norris?” It simply replies, “Run while you still have the chance.”
20. Chuck Norris runs Windows Vista on his Etch-a-Sketch.
18 e cel mai tare
Thx.
Neah. 12 by far.
Continuarea ...
(40/100)
21. Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris� leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
22. Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can�t get up the courage to tell him.
23. Chuck Norris was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.
24. If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it�s ****ing beef.
25. Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.
26. Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
27. Giraffes were created when Chuck Norris uppercutted a horse.
28. Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas.
29. Chuck Norris can have both feet on the ground and kick ass at the same time.
30. Chuck Norris doesn�t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
31. Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris
32. Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
33. Chuck Norris secretly sleeps with every woman in the world once a month. They bleed for a week as a result.
34. When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he�s telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
35. Chuck Norris� dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take **** from anyone.
36. Chuck Norris can squeeze orange juice out of a lemon
37. Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
38. Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn�t stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
39. Death once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience.
40. Chuck Norris doesn�t have hair on his testicles, because hair does not grow on steel.
Chuck Norris a castigat o partida de sah in 0 mutari.
Chuck Norris e singurul om care poate sa bea mancare solida.
Chuck Norris a fost primul om care a transformat apa in vin.
Chuck Norris nu sangereaza niciodata intrucat Chuck Norris nu poate fi ranit.
Chuck Norris poate sa scoata o palarie dintr-un iepure.
Chuck Norris poate manca o nuca de cocos cu tot cu coaja.
If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever!
Chuck Norris does not own a house. He walks into random houses and people move.
To be or not to be? That is the question. The answer? Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris can touch Mc Hammer
Chuck Norris doesn't breathe,he holds air hostage
My psp is unbreakable ! It's Chuck Norris's Psp !
Chuck Norris este singurul din univers care are un thread special cu jokes pe forumul ConsoleGames.ro!
De ce nu il invita guvernul Boc pe Chuck Norris in Romania?
- I-ar bate pe toti si ar prelua conducerea
Cine are curaj sa afirme ca Chuck Norris a fost invins de Bruce Lee?
- Nimeni, asa ceva nu s-a intamplat niciodata
Ce s-ar intampla daca citeste Chuck Norris acest topic?
- Am citi despre forumul Console Games in cartile de istorie
Dinozaurii l-au intalnit pe Chuck Norris...
Si din pacate, Chuck Norris i-a intalnit pe acestia.
Arnold Schwarzenegger a jucat in Terminator doar pentru ca Chuck Norris era ocupat.
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